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This is the first time looking at cats has made me want to invade Poland.

Limericks have always interested me. I'm planning to have a whole collection. There is one problem:

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

into space that is quite economical.

But the good ones I've seen

so seldom are clean,

and the clean ones so seldom are comical.

There once was an old man of Esser,

Whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser.

It at last grew so small

He knew nothing at all,

And now he's a college professor.

Said an ape as he swung by his tail,

To his offspring, both female and male:

"From your offspring, my dears,

In a couple of years,

May evolve a professor at Yale."

A don at a fine university

Was a man of such wilful perversity

That, in teaching his students,

He'd oft find it prudent

To crack farts of near fatal toxicity.

There was an old man

From Peru, whose lim'ricks all

Looked like haiku. He

Said with a laugh, "I

Cut them in half, the pay is

Much better for two.

A southern hillbilly named Hollis

Used possums and snakes as his solace.

His children had scales

And prehensile tails,

And voted for Governor Wallace.

A lovely lass, Sarah O'Malley,

Got caught kissing boys in the alley.

Her poppa was mad,

He said she was bad,

So now she's off smooching with Sally.

The lass I brought home was a prize,

With an alluring set of blue eyes.

Her bust, so well kept,

Was what I'd expect,

But her penis was quite a surprise.

There was a young man from Iraq

Who had holes down the side of his cock.

And his boyfriend, Umberto,

Could play the concerto

of Johann Sebastian Bach.